When I first became a single parent the comment I most hated was “you are not the only one”, “others have gone through this too”. Of course I am not the only single parent on this world, but does that make me feel better? Not at all. It’s no comfort that others have went through the same process. For me it’s new and I am not the only one – I give you that – but I am alone. It’s not easy to cope with the fact to be a single parent. This includes a thousand things.
One part is the organisational part – you need to become an expert in organisation if you want to cope with everything. But that’s something you can learn. You can learn to plan ahead, to tackle a thousand things at a time. With time you develop your strategies, for example preparing things while your little one is asleep.
Then there is the emotional part – that’s more difficult to deal with. Feeling angry, feeling alone, having sorrows about your kid, doubting, sadness and so one – the first couple of weeks and months after a break up it’s like being on a roller coaster. Once anger dominates your feelings, then again it’s sadness, then pity, then anger again, and so one… But it’s also about taking decisions alone, not having anybody to share your doubts with and responsibility suddenly feels amazingly heavy.
Times heals, and although I didn’t like to hear it while I was going through the separation phase, but it’s true. Once feelings don’t dominate your brain anymore – and that can take months, years or even forever – you become more rational and you start organising yourself in a way which is good for you and your kid. That’s when you are actually ready to begin a new chapter of your life.